Top 20+ tweets that made us laugh this week #471

I just learned that in Switzerland if you lose your driving license 4 times you have to go to the shrink

— Moon ⋆ (@angeledrvl) December 26, 2022

there’s a guy in the station who just opened his kinder bueno and offered me 1 like in the ad??????

— Lau ☽ (@iamlaufernan) December 27, 2022

Mdrrr I lost my credit card some guy probably got it back he wanted to please heyyyy man did you think what is Hess here mdrrr even 10 cents is not there pic.twitter.com/nb6guIX846

— Jsui Pas Uniq (@JsuiPasUniq) December 27, 2022

In French we don’t say “could you please move”, we say “tut tut” and I think that’s beautiful.

— Melmel (@Melanie_Lcms) December 27, 2022

My 5 year old daughters replace the PQ roll themselves when it is empty. They have therefore just passed the 30-year-old male level on the autonomy scale.

— Madame Mais (@MadameMais) December 27, 2022

My 4 year old comes with his index finger raised:
“Dad, are the boogers in the recyclable bin or the regular one?”
I don’t know whether to be ashamed or proud…

— 🎨Ad_Astra_85🎨 🇪🇺🇺🇦 (@Ad_astra_85) December 27, 2022

I went to the movies last night with what I thought was a precious friend and then she brought me salty popcorn…

— Madame Mais (@MadameMais) December 27, 2022

one of the biggest twists i heard is “it was the drops of blood from his dog hanged in the bathroom” you have to see how traumatized i was

— fire (@https_scorpio) December 28, 2022

OMG VALÉRIE PÉCRESSE DIES IN SEASON 3 OF EMILY IN PARIS

— Elisabeth born this way (she was bitter) (@Julia_cafe45) December 29, 2022

I remember in college I went to England with my class, there was a girl, she was pissed because she forgot her toothbrush, there is a boy, he said to her “it’s ok, we’re only leaving for 11 days”

—LAMS (@lvmsket) December 30, 2022

here’s what happens when you don’t recycle your pizza boxes

— Greta Thunberg (@GretaThunberg) December 30, 2022

I have a friend called Séline and once she signs up for a climbing gym, the guy asks her name she says “Séline with a capital S” (you can tell she’s smoothed it out after years of corrections)
…
You don’t know her sports card, wrote CélineS

— Oscar Barda ✪ (@OssKx) December 30, 2022

Science is still crazy how did they know her name was Lucy the first woman in prehistory?

— the girl there (@niemesia) 31 December 2022

live from an evening where a friend was dumped at 00:01 by message

—Niko (@RedjiZz) 31 December 2022